How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
