Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
