I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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