I think my vagina is haunted
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
