i think my tv is drunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
