Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
