Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
