I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
