If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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