my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
BRING THE BAGELS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
