the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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