ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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