I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
