when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
