i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
