also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
