It was confusing and full of hummus
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
