Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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