Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
