I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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