What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
