i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
