Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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