Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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