people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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