I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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