i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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