My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
