I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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