if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
