There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
