you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
