he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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