went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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