so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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