She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
