Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you didnt know i had herpes?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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