Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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