can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
