whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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