I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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