Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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