you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
