only you would photoshop your dick
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
