my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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