Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
