I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
