My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
