dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my shit smells like andre
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
