i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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