ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would ride that face into the sunset
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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