Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
